Happy 50th Anniversary, Doctor Who!

About 5 years ago, I decided that by the time Doctor Who’s 50th anniversary rolled around, I’d be playing the Doctor’s companion… Or at least I’d have some role on the show… Or at least be involved with the production somehow. Well, I didn’t quite manage that (yet… I live in hope!), but, I do work for the BBC, and for an American living in America, I think that’s about as close to reaching that 5-year-plan as I could have realistically expected. :) 

What I did not expect, 5 years ago, was that by the time the Doctor’s 50th anniversary rolled around, when I tell people (in America) that I work for the BBC, they’d reply, “Oh, you guys air Doctor Who! I hear about that show all the time!” I did not expect that I would see people on the NYC subways wearing Doctor Who buttons on their backpacks (aside from NYCC days), or that there would be a bar in Brooklyn whose restroom is a TARDIS, or that the anniversary episode would be simulcast around the world and shown IN THEATERS, even here in America. When I made that plan 5 years ago, I could count on one hand, literally, the number of people (in the States) that I knew who watched Doctor Who, and didn’t need all of my digits to count the people who had even heard of it. I cannot believe how far Doctor Who has come here, in such a relatively short span of time (1/10 of its whole existence!).

But, actually, I can believe it. Because I knew as soon as I saw my first episode of Doctor Who (“Love and Monsters” … I know!) that the show deserved this level of recognition. And, moreover, that the Doctor himself deserved it. I think the world can use a few more heroes like him - the ones who favor “intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism” (thanks, Craig Ferguson!). I mean no disrespect to our American superheroes, but sometimes it’s nice to see another possibility: someone whose first reaction is to try and make peace (and then regrets the times when that wasn’t possible for the rest of his - very long - life), and someone who, well… kinda seems a bit more like us (despite being an ancient, time-and-space-traveling, regenerating, alien genius).

The Doctor isn’t built like a bodybuilder, he can’t fly or teleport or use X-ray vision, and he was never injected with magic-science-serum or hit with gamma rays or whatnot. (Sorry, Thor, Superman, Captain America, Hulk, Spiderman, et al… Love y’all too!) But he saves the world anyway, over and over again, with his sonic screwdriver, some psychic paper, and a TARDIS - and, of course, with his brilliant mind, his two hearts, and some help from his friends. And occasionally a satsuma. Never underestimate the power of a satsuma! (Jammy Dodgers or bananas are also acceptable, and Jelly Babies are always good for a distraction - who can turn down sweets? If none of the above work, try reversing the polarity of the neutron flow; that oughta do it. World saved, with minimal to no damage done by the good guys!)

The Doctor finds magic in the everyday, sees the greatness in the “average,” and is constantly fascinated by the world around him - whatever world that may be. He has plenty of character flaws, to be sure, but that just makes him more… well, human, funnily enough. (I’d list them, for the sake of an unbiased report, but it’s his birthday, so I can’t be mean to him today!)

And that’s all just in the show! I know first-hand that the Doctor can affect the real world, too. How? Well, I can only speak for myself, but I think I have some fairly compelling evidence, if only for its volume: 1. I have my current job because “Doctor Who” inspired me to watch more BBC content, which then inspired me to want to intern there (a program I found out about because a friend of mine - whom I’d met because of “Doctor Who” - interned there first), which then led to me becoming a paid intern there, which then led to me getting hired full-time. 2. “Doctor Who” (and “Torchwood,” even more so) made Cardiff look like such a cool city that I wanted to see it for myself, so my parents and I spent a couple of days of our England-centric holiday to stay in Cardiff. The moment I stepped off the train in Cardiff, I felt at home... To the extent that after only 2.5 days in the city, I decided I wanted to spend 5 months studying abroad there. And the choice to study at Cardiff University in 2010 is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life: not only did I learn a lot (academically and culturally), and not only did I make wonderful friends with whom I still keep in contact - I also found my home-away-from-home in Cardiff, and I probably never would have even thought to visit Cardiff without “Doctor Who.” The show introduced me to the place that became my favorite city in the world; a place that I feel so lucky to still be able to consider “home,” even 3.5 years after the last time I was there. (Because I know Wales will “keep a welcome in the hillside and a welcome in the Vales” til I come back. It’s what Wales does.) 3. I made most of my friends in college - my American one - because of “Doctor Who,” as I joined CSF (our sci-fi/anime/geekery club) because I really, really wanted to find other people who had heard of the show. I had plenty of other interests in line with CSF, of course, so I likely would have wound up there eventually, but it probably would not have been the activity I was most determined to join in on during my first couple of weeks away at college. Most - though certainly not all! - of my close friends at Fordham (and who remain my closest friends, post-graduation... my boyfriend included!) were made through CSF, and I may never have spent so much time with this fantastic group of people if I hadn’t been so excited to meet people who knew the Doctor existed. The fact that this group of people was (and is!) truly fantastic is what kept me going back to the club, but it was the Doctor who made going in the first place such a priority. 4. “Doctor Who” - or more accurately, David Tennant and Billie Piper’s behind-the-scenes video diaries - are what got me back into acting, after I had given it up for a bit. (Thus, indirectly, it also had a hand in inspiring me to switch my major to Communications, as I had entered college as a Computer Science major… Which, turns out, I really just do not have the patience for.) I now have two acting credits under my belt - both of which have the added bonus of supporting great charities! - and hope to add to my resume as time goes on. On both shoots, I made great friends with whom I still keep in contact (seeing a pattern, here?) - people I never, ever would have met if I hadn’t taken part in these projects. And I never would have auditioned, or even known about the auditions, if David and Billie hadn’t reminded me, with their video diaries, of everything I love about acting. (I didn’t do too much theatre in college, but my one TOP production deserves a mention, too; I probably wouldn’t have gotten involved in that without being inspired by David and Billie, either.) 5. I may never have traveled with the Doctor, but just like the rest of his companions, quite frankly, the Doctor saved me, too. I was a lot like Rose when I started watching the show - I wasn’t really going anywhere; I knew there must have been somewhere to go, but, I couldn’t figure out where, let alone how to get there. Watching the show, though, I couldn’t help but think, “Well, if Rose was special enough to be chosen to travel with the Doctor, then might I be, too? If he sees the potential in her, maybe I have it, too!” Rose herself said it best: “The Doctor shows you a better way of living your life.” And he can do that for anyone - you don’t have to be a character in the show to learn from his example. He doesn’t need to grab your hand and tell you to “Run!” with him, through all of time and space, to show you what you’re capable of. You just need to be paying attention to what he’s saying. And I’m so, so glad that, even if it took 50 years, we’re all paying attention now. Congratulations - and a heartfelt thanks - to everyone who has ever worked on bringing “Doctor Who” to our screens, books, radios, etc, over the past 50 years. You’ve done the world a great favor, in my humble opinion. You’re all brilliant… And I can’t believe I can call some of you my co-workers!! I’m honored. :)
And of course… Happy 50th Birthday, Doctor! And even though I know you won’t hear it (you never do stick around quite long enough...), thank you. <3<3

My Experience as a Female Geek

As a female who self-identifies as a geek, I am aware that there exists a perception that women are rarely “real” geeks, and that, accordingly, females need to prove their geekiness to be accepted as a full member of the community. (If you are also a geek, of either gender, you probably don’t need examples of this; if you are unfamiliar with this situation, though, please see this editorial on an inflammatory Facebook post from comic artist Tony Harris [note the comic at the end, too], this article about gaming as a female, and this CNN blog post.) It appears that, over the past few months, there have been quite a lot of women, and some men, taking to the Internet to complain about this opinion, and I’m glad. As a female and as a mature, sensible human being, I think it’s an awful mentality that absolutely should be fought against. Honestly, I thought the geek “community,” as it were, was supposed to be a place where people who may not fit in elsewhere can finally find a home - it was certainly not meant to be yet another gated community one could only join if they had the right credentials. (And it is a community-wide issue, not solely applicable to females: I know men can be deemed unworthy, too, if they aren’t experts in every subject a geek, ahem, “should” be an expert in.)

But I’m afraid I don't plan to lend my voice to this fight, beyond my previous paragraph. Why? Because, quite frankly... I can’t. I have no ammunition. See, I have never in my entire life been a victim of prejudice from male geeks (or female geeks, for that matter). Yes, the prejudice exists, and it should be fought - but I’m saddened that so many of the posts seem to largely ignore the existence of male geeks who do not hold those low opinions of their female counterparts. I think that’s unfair, really. To assume that the ideologies of one subset of the culture is indicative of male geeks as a whole, is like walking into Mordor (with difficulty, of course) and expecting the behavior witnessed there to be indicative of the entirety of Middle Earth.

So I’m here to defend the noble Men of Gondor, and the Rohirrim, and the Rangers, and the Dwarves and Hobbits and Elves... Otherwise known as Every Male Geek that I Have Had the Pleasure to Meet and the Honor to Call My Friend. (Yes, that means you!) Not every male geek is an Orc - er, a judgmental, arrogant jerk. In fact, my personal experience leads me to believe that the majority of male geeks do not fit that mold - just as my personal experience leads me to believe that most female geeks do not deserve to be labelled “attention-seeking posers,” either.

For example, I present the first club I joined as a Freshman at Fordham University: the Contemporary Science Fiction Club. CSF (as we’re known) is chock-full of some of the most welcoming, accepting, kind people I have ever met. That fully applies to both the male and the female club members, of course, but I’ll be focusing on my relationship to/with the guys, since they’re the reason I’m writing. During my four years at Fordham (and continuing post-graduation), these were some of my experiences with the CSF guys:

-- They invited me to play video games with them, and never laughed at how awful I was (though they quite fairly laughed with me, sometimes, when I made fun of myself).
-- They suggested anime titles that they felt were good starting points for the uninitiated, such as I was.
-- They filled me in on the backstories of superheroes whose comics I’d never read, without scoffing at my ignorance.
-- They sought me out when they wanted to know more/ talk about “Doctor Who,” which was (and is) my personal forte. They also sought me out for discussions on “Firefly”/”Serenity,” and, more recently, “A Song of Ice and Fire”/”Game of Thrones.”
-- A few of my friends in the club introduced me to D&D, and invited me into their party; I still play with them now.
-- My boyfriend, a fellow CSF-er, taught me to play Magic: The Gathering (though my Dad taught me the basics when I was in middle school) and, along with some of my other friends, provided many helpful hints and tips (and sometimes, cards!) in our early games. Also, they have all offered to help if I ever have deck-building questions. (I’ve already taken them up on this.)
-- One of my friends has taught me (and the whole of CSF) how to play so many board games it’s actually unbelievable.

And in case it seems like they were being nice to only me: Every club member, to the best of my knowledge, has experienced the same welcoming environment. Additionally, CSF routinely opened our meetings to people who didn’t even self-identify as “geeks” at all, but had a lot of friends in the club and/or wanted to watch a specific movie or play a specific game. Basically, if you wanted to be there, you were welcome - regardless of gender, regardless of geek knowledge. The more, the merrier seemed to be the motto of CSF, and let me tell you, we were (and are!) one big, merry bunch.

Mind you, I fully believe that CSF is special - being a member of CSF has consistently felt less like belonging to a club, and more like belonging to a family. In that way, I think CSF is an anomaly: we’re not indicative of the whole of geek culture, because we’re extra-awesome. (I may just be biased, though.)

Even so, I still believe that most male geeks are more like the men I’ve befriended in CSF, and less like the immature, ignorant guys trolling the Internet and the occasional convention. Why? Well, besides the special case that is CSF, my experience as a geek girl looks like this: I was one of only 3 girls on my high school’s robotics team of 13. I have attended many cons, and struck up conversations with male fellow-con-goers (and guests). I have visited the sci-fi club meetings of two universities besides Fordham (Cardiff University and the University of Nottingham). I have even held a small role in a “Firefly”/”Serenity”-based fan film, “Browncoats: Redemption.” And never once, in any of these settings, have I encountered the dreaded Judgemental Male Geek. Never once have I been questioned. Never once have I felt out of place. Never once have I felt the need to prove myself.

Let me stress this: Never. Even. Once.

I know I’m just one woman, and I can’t speak for every geeky female on the planet. But I have met, and befriended, far too many wonderful geeky men to believe that the norm of males in this social group is immaturity and cruelty. I firmly believe that the norm is kindness and acceptance toward everyone; the norm is making new friends, not alienating people.

So, to my geeky guy friends and family members: Thank you for disproving the stereotype, for always making me feel welcome, and for making it so easy for me to write this. And to all of the open-minded, open-hearted geeky men everywhere, my friends and family included: Regardless of the recent opinion pieces that may seem to suggest otherwise, it is known that you’re not all judgmental jerks - and that just as most geeky women deserve better than their perception, so do you deserve better than yours.

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[Author’s note, 1/24/13: This entry is one of the pieces I mentioned in my introductory post - one that I’d written before I had a blog. I'd originally posted this a couple of weeks ago with an apology for being a bit "late to the party," as the topic was more timely when it was written a couple of months ago, than when it was first posted. Then, today, I read an article whose comment section demonstrated that I may not be as late to the party as I'd thought... Or hoped.

The topic of the article was not quite in the same vein as the issue that prompted my original entry, but the attitude presented by many (though not all) of the commenters was the same: a tendency toward painting all male geeks with the same, highly unflattering, brush. So although the entry below begins with a reference to a specific problem within geek culture, please be aware that my argument at large is applicable other discussions, as well: as I cannot think of any behavior of which all male geeks are guilty, my argument would remain the same even as particular accusations change.]

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[Author's Note #2, 7/25/15, which is really more of a full post than a "note," so forget the italics; I'd put it in its own post, but I want to keep all of this together in one place: 

Re-reading this post now - two-and-a-half years after posting it - I feel like I got overzealous and heavy-handed in trying to show how great the geek community is. Although I did mention, at the start of the original post, that it's important to share the negative stories, and that I completely believed that those things were happening - I did nothing (or, at best, not nearly enough) in the body of my post to demonstrate that I really meant that, or that I cared. The last thing I wanted was to seem unsympathetic, but considering that I went so far as to say that I would "not lend my voice" to this fight against disrespectful behavior, it looks to me as if "unsympathetic" is exactly how I came off. I apologize for that.

I like to think that I know better now. I absolutely want to lend my voice, however I can. I am lucky that my own voice, even a couple of years later, is still entirely positive - and I do still believe that it's important for me to share that, because I want people to see (in the paraphrased words of Sam Gamgee) that there's some good left in this community - and that it's worth fighting for. But I understand, now, that wanting to promote positive stories, doesn't - and shouldn't - preclude me from addressing the negative ones, too. People are sometimes made to feel as if they are not wanted here, and they deserve to be heard. I will happily boost the signal for them, if it will help.

So, I'd like to try again, if I may:

I hate that, within the geek community - my community - there are people committed to the utterly nonsensical idea that this is some kind of gated community. I hate that there are people here who want to shut out anyone who doesn't fit their narrow idea of what a geek "should" be. It's unfair, disrespectful, and rude. And, frankly, it's ridiculous: "geek" is a one-size-fits-all title!

But, as a female geek myself, I want to assure you that it's not all doom-and-gloom here. Personally, I love being a part of the geek community. LOVE it. This is, without a doubt, my home, wherever in the world I find myself. These are my people, even if I'm meeting them for the first time - because the vast majority of people I've encountered in this community, have been positively lovely, wonderful people, many of whom I have been lucky enough to grow to call my friends.

Yes, unfortunately, there are jerks here, too (as there are in any large-enough group of people), and yes, they are loud and obnoxious and awful. But, they are the minority, and they neither represent, nor speak for, the larger community. In fact, the larger community is taking this issue more and more seriously, as it should be, and is putting real effort into preventing/reprimanding that kind of behavior - especially as more and more people make it clear, as they should be, that they will not tolerate it. (This is why it's so important to share negative experiences: the more attention is called to it, the more that the majority of the community will join in to push back against it. Because, again: we do not tolerate this.) We have a ways left to go, but we are making great strides.

So I hope you'll come on in and have fun with us here in the geek community, despite (and in spite of) the few jerks who may wish you'd stay out. Don't stay out. Don't give them that satisfaction. Don't let a few bad eggs stop you from loving what you love, and sharing that with other (awesome) people who love it, too. I promise we'll be so happy to have you! I don't even know who you are (yet!), but I'm making you that promise anyway, because this is not a gated community. You belong here, and you are wanted here, and you matter here, and you are welcome here. Don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise. <3]

Welcome!!

Hello there! Welcome to my blog. This is my first-ever entry, but I hope I’ll keep this going and turn it into a proper blog in time. Hopefully you’ll come along for the ride, Faithful Reader!

I suppose it would be wise to introduce myself. My name is Marissa; I’m in my 20s, and I live in New York City. I’m a pretty happy person, who enjoys the usual things like spending time with my friends and family, reading, watching movies and TV, listening to music... And so on. I act sometimes, too (as in, “perform on stage or film,” not, “put on a facade in my everyday life”), I’m usually singing something under my breath (sometimes louder), and sometimes I write things - like right now! Also, I’m a geek, so expect to see references to various pieces of sci-fi/fantasy media and literature, D&D terminology, and Magic cards. (If you have no idea what I just said, no worries, my references won’t get in your way of understanding my posts at large!)

Why am I keeping a blog, you ask? Good question. The short answer is simply that I enjoy writing, and wanted to try doing so on a platform that invites others to comment on and discuss what they’ve read. But I imagine that that’s everyone’s answer, really, so it doesn’t actually do much to explain why I’m here. So, the detailed answer:

Recently, I wrote a couple of opinion pieces that I’d intended to keep to myself, but upon reflection, I started to wonder what my friends and family could/would contribute to the discussion. I considered posting my writing as Facebook notes, but upon yet more reflection, I realized that doing so would be awfully similar to blogging - just a bit less fun (because I want to play with the HTML/CSS and have pretty colors, darn it, and Facebook won’t let me). So although I’ve quite frankly never felt that I had enough interesting things to say to merit keeping a public blog, I decided it might be fun to give it a go after all.

What can you expect from this blog? Well, my first couple of entries will probably be the essays I mentioned in the previous paragraph, since they’re already written. After that, it’s likely that, for the sake of somewhat regular updates, I’ll mix my opinion pieces with other things, like reviews of something I’ve watched/ read/ listened to recently; entries based on writing prompts; something cool or exciting I’m working on/ involved with; totally random musings on totally random topics; etc. And the name of this blog, “Ponders and Prattles,” should hint at the tone you can expect overall: sometimes, I’ll be thoughtfully pondering things; other times, I’ll be light-heartedly prattling on; other times still, it will be a mix of the two!

Thanks for reading! Hope you’ll come back again for my next entry - and the one after that, and after that, and after that... :)